The Letter
by Hsmgirl92
Summary: two years after her husband Ryan dies, Gabriella is depressed and finds comfort in writing him a letter.


**hsmgirl says: Ok so, here's my oneshot finally! school has been so tough latley that I haven't been able to write as much as I would like to. but anyway, here's my Oneshot! I hope you enjoy it!**

The letter

I drive up to the Albuquerque elementary school and rush in to retrieve my six year old daughter from her kindergarten class. When I walk in, she is sitting in an empty classroom at a tiny desk writing her daily journal entry. It's 2:30 and she still isn't done yet. My daughter, Rachel looks over her shoulder and sees that I'm there. She gives me and innocent smile as to say, "Whatever she tells you isn't true." I sigh and stare at my feet. The teacher enters the room and says,

"Ah, Mrs. Evans we need to have a talk about Rachel." I sigh yet again and follow her to the back of the room.

"Mrs. Evans it appears to me that Rachel is having trouble with her daily journal entries. She tends to write words and letters backwards," she tells me.

"Please, call me Gabriella," I say.

"Well Gabriella, I think she might be dyslexic," she says. I nod slowly.

"She's only five. How can you tell?" I ask in confusion. Then Ryan comes to my mind. _Perhaps she takes after him,_ I think to myself.

"Is there any history of dyslexia in your family?" she asks me. I think for a moment wondering what to say to her. Perhaps I should just lie and say no so I won't depress myself.

"No," I lie. Rachel is tapping her pencil on her desk trying to put her words down on the paper but it doesn't seem to be working out.

"And she usually at least tries to write something down, but not fore the past couple of days. Not even a picture." The teacher tells me. I give a deep sigh.

"Look, I have no time for this now, I came to pick up my daughter from school, not have you report to me every little mistake that she makes." I say trying to keep my voice down.

"With all due respect Mrs. Evans, but I think that maybe Rachel is getting tired of waiting a half an hour for you to come and get her." The teacher says.

"Look, I'm trying my best ok? Being a single parent isn't the easiest thing in the world." I say quietly.

"Well, I am indeed sorry about that but I don't think you should let you're daughter suffer because of it," She says in a low tone trying to make sure that Rachel doesn't hear her.

"Well, thank you for your help, I'll see you soon," I say trying to make Rachel think everything is ok. I walk over to Rachel and tell her to gather her things and say goodbye to her teacher. We walk out to the car and I help Rachel into her car seat.

"I love you Mommy," she says embracing me with her tiny arms.

"I love you too Rach," I say. I close the door gently and open mine. I sit in front of the steering wheel and start the car.

While we drive home, Rachel is playing with her Barbie dolls in the back seat. She looks up at me with her glassy crystal blue eyes and smiles. Every time she looks at me I see Ryan in her eyes. We pull into the driveway and get out of the car. We come into the house and I put Rachel down for a short nap. After she's fast asleep, I walk into my bedroom and pull out a writing tablet and sit down at my desk. I open the cover and begin to write.

_Dear Ryan,_

_I can't believe it's already been two years. A very long two years. I remember that evening in my mind quite clearly. The day you didn't come home. But before I can bring myself to say anything about that, I'll tell you about our life together. _

_We started dating in our junior year of high school. Two years later, we graduated and decided to go to the same college. I went to law school and you decided to become a firefighter. And still we were dating. A year after we started college, you took me out on a date and asked me to marry you. I couldn't have been happier. Our wedding day was wonderful. I was wearing the most beautiful dress. Up on the altar while we should've been praying silently, you leaned over and whispered in my ear those three words that meant so much. _

"_I love you." _

_Tears filled my eyes. I never thought anyone would ever love me so much. My family was there and your family was there and all our friends from high school were there. It was the happiest day of my life. Not long after, we bought the cheapest little house we could afford, and moved in. Some two years later, I found out I was pregnant and I told you right away. We were both so happy we danced around the room for ten minutes. The next thing we knew, we were out buying tons of baby clothes even though we knew we couldn't afford to buy that many. Nine months later, on October 4th I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and we named her Rachel Nicole Evans. Not even four years after she was born, was that night the night you didn't come home. _

_I had just put Rachel to bed. You had been at work all day and you were supposed to have been able to come home at six thirty. And it was eight thirty when the red car drove up to our house. The one that only comes around when something bad happens. The fire chief came to the door and said that you had been trapped in a burning building trying to save someone's life. He said the fire was so bad that they would've had to risk all twenty firefighters to get you out. I fell to my knees and prayed to God that it wasn't true. It felt like someone had stabbed me in the heart and the pain just wouldn't go away. I couldn't believe it. I started sobbing hysterically, trying to convince myself that this was all just a big nightmare and that you would be there to wake me up and tell me that everything would be ok. The next morning, Rachel wandered out into the living room and asked me where you were. I had to tell her that you weren't coming back but she didn't seem to understand. Every day she would ask me where you were._

"_Mommy, where's Daddy?" she would ask me and I wouldn't know what to tell her. _

_The day of your funeral, I cried until I didn't have any tears left. You're family was so nice to me though, your sister even let Rachel and I stay with her for a few weeks. I just couldn't bear to go home, it would bring back too many memories. Since then, my days have grown long and weary because you're no longer here. Confidence is filled with questions and strength is replaced with fear. I miss you so much I have to force myself to go on without you every day. I miss the way you used to touch my face and tell me that I was beautiful. I miss your voice telling me that you love me. But most of all, I miss seeing your face every day. Every time I fall asleep I dream that you are still around and things are just the same as they used to be. I wish I could see you again just to tell you goodbye and that I love you. The assuredness that I wake up with each day is nowhere to be found as though my dreams and aspirations were buried underground. I hear your voice being carried by the wind like your fingers through my hair. I close my eyes and remember your kiss and wish with all my heart that you were still here. So with nothing left but one thing to say to resolve my heartbreak here, goodbye my darling and my love. I'll love you forever no matter where I am or what I do. Goodbye my love and my best friend. _

_Love you forever,_

_Gabriella. _

I close the writing tablet and wipe several tears away from my eyes. I look at the clock. Four o'clock already. Rachel wanders into the room; her jet-black hair messed up from sleeping.

"Mommy, what are you doing?" she asks me. I hesitate and try to think of what to say to her.

"Writing a letter to Daddy," I say. Her innocent young eyes look at me strangely.

"Do you miss him?" she asks. I bury my face in the palms of my hands and look up at her again.

"Yes I do. Very much," I tell her. She reaches out her small hands and tries to wipe my tears away.

"It's ok Mommy, I miss Daddy too," she says. More tears fall away from my eyes.

"Mommy, can I write to Daddy too?" she asks. I gesture for her to sit on my lap. I help her hold the pen as she writes.

Dear Daddy…

**Hsmgirl says: Ok so please tell me what you thought. I worked hard on this so be nice to me! I hope you liked it. please please review because it makes me feel good. :)**


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